I ran into my buddy Ralph the other day. Him and I have become good friends over the last couple of years. We meet often and hang out like old pals. Anyway, Ralph and I went to Starbucks to drink overpriced coffee, sit with the other gentry of international expats, and watch the stream of life pass by. My friend looked like he had something he wanted to say, but stumbled for the words to come out of his mouth.
“Yeah? What’s up?” I inquired.
“Nothing. I just wanted to thank you” he said.
“Thank me? How’s that, dude? What the hell are you talking about?” I was confused.
“I just want to thank you for helping me out, ya know, getting me situated with my place. And well, changing my life,” he said.
“Oh that. My pleasure, Ralph. It’s what I do. I like to help out people and get them ‘situated’, as you say. Hopefully, they’ll make a few bucks. Everyone’s happy. I’m happy! And your life’s better. Woo-hoo!” I said.
“Well, there could be worse places to be, right? But this place has everything! It’s fun and I live like a king!” he said.
“Take it easy, your Highness. I agree, it is a fun and wild place. Sure beats the hell out of most places I know” I said.
“Let me finish. The thing is, since you helped me find my condominium and then helped me invest in the other ones, well, things have been good, better than good” he said with all the sincerity he could muster.
“Hey, you pulled the trigger, Ralph. You did that, not me. You could have chosen not to. I was just another pair of eyes and ears. You were a neophyte, as green as they come like most foreigners who come to Pattaya. You think you see, but what you see is nothing. I just filled you in on what was what and what was not. That’s my job, buddy. And I am seriously into it. I have to be. I have a family to raise and I don’t play around when it comes to them,” I said.
“Well, you most definitely did help me, Christopher. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you, man. Oh, another thing, I have some friends from the States coming soon. I told them about life here. You know, how cheap it is, about my condos and how I’m renting them out and making money to live off of. They’re really excited. And get this, they say they want to meet you and they want you to show them around!” Ralph said.
“Hey, absolutely! And thank you, too! I make it a point not to turn down opportunity when it knocks. Bring ‘em on!” I answered.
“These guys are all in different situations. One’s divorced and overweight. One’s older and near retirement, but is a notorious horndog. Another is just fed up with the States and is looking for something different, crazy different. One’s married, but can’t stand his yakety-yackin’ wife. They vacation separately, apparently, it helps to break up the monotony and misery now and then. One guy hasn’t held a woman in his arms for two and a half years. My God, how many nights is that? How sad. Anyway, they’re a real hodgepodge of misfits, but all good guys. They’re gonna love it here. I’ve been going off on Facebook and emailing them about how my life here is and they have been hounding me about wanting to come, so this is it,” he said happily.
“Well, I’ll show them around. I’ll give them my famous Golden Tour. Maybe they’ll see something that they’ll like. There are so many developers now, much more than before and the snakes waiting to pounce on the first cowboy with mud on his boots who comes whistling “Dixie” through the door. Some of these people can be really ruthless. Don’t worry, I will keep your motley crew far away from them. It’ll be fun. We’ll drive around and see the best projects. We’ll get some good food, have some beers and introduce them to Pattaya’s famed nightlife. Even your heavy set buddy won’t go home empty handed” I said.
“Hey, I don’t mind helping my friends and turning them on to good people, Christopher,” Ralph said and shook my hand.
“I do appreciate that, Ralph. I really do. Who knows, maybe this time next year, some of your buddies will be living next door and drinking in the good life of Thailand!” I said.
“Oh my God? Next door?’ He blurted out.
“Well, maybe we can show them something a little further down the road a piece,” I said and he laughed.
“Perfect! Just down the road a little bit. Perfecto mundo!” He said.
We both laughed out loud and a few expats who were sitting closeby looked up as if we had disturbed their little dainty coffee klatch and grumbled something to themselves. I smiled and faced them and spoke.
“The thing is my friend here has hepatitis simplex 5. You know, the contagious one, but it’s pretty much under control now. The doctors say, thank God, that he’s going to live! Isn’t that miraculous!” And before I could say another word, every single one of them, put down their coffee mugs and bolted in either direction. These were large bodied, overweight dudes who were in a full out sprint in a split second. They looked like a frightened herd of albino buffalo. As they ran away, I yelled at their backs. “Come back! Let me introduce him to you! He drools, but he’s really a great guy! Come back! Let’s talk!” Ralph was laughing so hard he couldn’t speak. I sat down and we fist bumped and that was that.
The moral of the story? There is none. But there is this: I have helped many people get ‘situated’ here with condominiums to live and condominiums for investment. I am yet to have a dissatisfied customer. In baseball lingo, I’m batting .1000. Pattaya is a rare place that will only grow in the years to come. It’s cheap to live. There is no place that packs so much fun into one town. You can live right by the ocean. Did I mention the nightlife? It’s sublime. A smart investment now will be an investment in one’s future. With all of the debt that the U.S. and Europe is in, the dollar and the Euro will continue to crash against the Baht. Buying an affordable and lovely condo in Thailand gets you some SE Asia exposure and it locks in your retirement. For my buddy, and my customer Ralph, it has been a remarkable success story. It isn’t rocket science, I assure you. You can have what he and many like him have, many I now call friends. All you need to do is come here or contact me and get the ball rolling. Surfing the net or reading books about what you can do is great, but it won’t get it done. You have to take the initiative, take action!
So, if you’d like to check out a few condos and throw down a couple of Singha’s, e-mail me @ Christopher@stayinginthailand.com or call me (66-350-2495) and I promise to get out there and make things happen for you. But the real question is this: are you ready? Are you ready to make a spectacular change in your life, to not accept the mundane and make life far more interesting than you have ever imagined. I did that a long time ago. I never looked back.
I wish you luck!