You’re already in a tropical island paradise, and you’re probably stress free, but why not add some extra icing to the cake and get a world-class massage? Despite prices being higher for most things like food and shopping in Phuket, prices for massage are relatively the same throughout Thailand. Phuket has many professional massage places where you can get a 100% authentic, no funny business massage. But, like most places in Thailand, there are also a few spots to get a gentlemen’s massage (that’s what I’m calling it these days). Whichever type of establishment you choose; I highly recommend getting an oil massage hits the spot when you’re sun burn.
Best Professional, Non-dirty Massage Parlors
1) Sweet Lemongrass Massage (Patong)- Arguably the most professional and quality massage parlor in Phuket. This place has a great atmosphere and it’s super popular. The prices are reasonable and the service is excellent. All masseuses are professionally trained at massage schools.
2) Oriental Massage Phuket (Kata Beach)- This place is a little bit more expensive than Sweet Lemongrass, perhaps because it is closer to the beach, but it’s still a great option for a real, classy massage. They offer a full body aloe vera massage, which would be great after a day at the beach. They also have a spa, and they offer pedicures and hair braiding so your girl might enjoy that.
*Quick Note: You can get a regular massage on the beach for around 300 baht an hour. Look for older ladies wearing colored jackets and carrying mats. It’s probably not the same quality as you would get in an actual massage parlor, but hey, you’re relaxing on the beach on an island getting a massage. Enough said.
Now, to get to the real reason your reading this article…
Dirty Massage Parlors in Phuket
A) Special Massage
If you want a special massage that includes an HJ, BJ, or sex, then Patong is absolutely your best option for that. Think no more. The girls are lined up outside of these places waiting for you to be escorted to a private room for some dirty rubbin'. I haven’t named any places in particular because they come and go as do the girls, but I will provide you with the best areas to explore and you can check out the girls yourself.
Best area: Soi Kepsup- Go anywhere around this soi and you will be sure to see some girls dressed in slutty clothes beckoning you to come inside and tip them 500 baht for whatever it is you fancy. There are hundreds of places to get dirty massages in Phuket, but this is the hot spot. You are guaranteed to get the dirty massage you desire here.
B) Soapy Massage
Finally, I present to you my favorite selection. There are three main places offering soapy massages in Phuket. I will list them here. The price for a soapy in Phuket is anywhere from 1500-3000 baht per session. If you want to know about how to choose a girl, refer to my article on Chiang Mai massage parlors.
1) Christin’s Massage Parlor (Patong Beach)- It’s very easy to spot. It’s a big purple-colored building. It’s very well known and if you ask any tuk tuk driver they will take you there with ease. Open 14:00 to midnight everyday.
2) The Grand Plaza Hotel Massage (Phuket Town)- The second most popular place for a soapy massage in Phuket. Open everyday from 12:00 in the afternoon until midnight.
3) The Pearl Hotel (Phuket Town)- Another parlor that runs at a hotel. A little pricier than the other establishments, but the girls are really sexy.
Patong for your Dong…
When it comes down to it, most dirty massages in Phuket go down in Patong. There are hundreds of establishments and since it’s not an actual, professional massage, there isn’t much variation between parlors. What you will need to do is evaluate the current variation between the girls at a few different places and then make a selection. There are undoubtedly more options that I haven’t listed, like the massage joints at fancy resorts, which are pricey. What are you waiting for? Go drain those coconuts.